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Have a laugh!

01 Oct 2016
@ 01:05 am (GMT)

Andy

Here's a joke, maybe you could post another one below!

A guy walks into a pub and asks the publican for a beer. While he sits there he notices a jar full of . Next to the jar full of $50 notes is a sign that reads,

"$50 entry fee: Complete the Challenge, Win the Jar."

Curious, the guy asks the bartender about the challenge. The bartender explains there are three parts that must be completed. First: Down a gallon of tequila straight in under five minutes. Second: A Crocodile out back has a terrible tooth and ache and the tooth has to be pulled. Third: Have sex with the oldest hooker in the place. The guy thinks it over and he accepts the challenge. He downs the tequila in no time. Then he staggers out back and everyone in the bar hears an awful commotion for a solid 10 minutes. Then silence. The guy stumbles back in the door his clothes torn to sheds, bite marks up and down his body... He yells, "Now! Where's that hooker with the tooth ache?"

Replies

08 Oct 2016
@ 04:22 am (GMT)

Paul Leverman

Re: Have a laugh!
A horse walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender looks at him and says, "Say buddy, why the long face?"
04 Dec 2016
@ 07:10 am (GMT)

Paul Leverman

Re: Have a laugh!
A senior couple were celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. She was knitting, he was watching hockey. She decided that she was going to shake things up a little, so she went into the bedroom, stripped naked, wrapped a sheet around her shoulders like a cape and ran into the living room. She stood in front of her husband, flung open the cape and said, "Super Pussy!".
To which he replied, "I'll have the soup."
07 Dec 2016
@ 07:56 pm (GMT)

Andrew Murray

Re: Have a laugh!
14 Dec 2016
@ 01:07 am (GMT)

Paul Leverman

Re: Have a laugh!
Two hunters are in a field. In front of them is a hole of substantial size.
"How deep do you figure that is?"
"I don't know. Let's throw a rock down and see if we can tell."
They find a fair size rock and toss it down the hole. They wait for the thud, but before they hear anything, this goat comes racing by and jumps down the hole.
A couple of minutes later, a farmer comes by and asks if the hunters have seen his goat.
"Yeah. Silly goat jumped down that hole."
"That's funny," said the farmer, "I had him tied to a rock."
15 Dec 2016
@ 05:08 am (GMT)

Andrew Murray

Re: Have a laugh!
A good laugh indeed!

29 Jun 2018
@ 11:12 am (GMT)

Andrew Murray

Re: Have a laugh!
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.

What can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because it has a silent P.

12 Aug 2018
@ 02:35 am (GMT)

Paul Leverman

Re: Have a laugh!
Seen the TV series "Survivor"? Wannabes submit videos for eligibility. This one didn't make it.

12 Aug 2018
@ 02:36 am (GMT)

Paul Leverman

Re: Have a laugh!
Well, crap. Guess I didn't make it either.
12 Aug 2018
@ 02:37 am (GMT)

Paul Leverman

Re: Have a laugh!
One last try


12 Aug 2018
@ 03:55 am (GMT)

Caleb Mayfield

Re: Have a laugh!
Paul, one thing I discovered when linking from imgur, be sure to remove the "s" from the http portion of the link. https://i.imgur.com/vrH6gOY.gifv



12 Aug 2018
@ 03:58 am (GMT)

Caleb Mayfield

Re: Have a laugh!

Click here
13 Aug 2018
@ 04:34 pm (GMT)

Andrew Murray

Re: Have a laugh!
Damn. The worst part out being in the head like that is doing it yourself.
15 Aug 2018
@ 11:37 am (GMT)

Warwick Marflitt

Re: Have a laugh!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gROnRUyWZmY

Corn bread n bacon!
15 Aug 2018
@ 03:15 pm (GMT)

Paul Leverman

Re: Have a laugh!
OK, Caleb. I need to know. Did the link show up but I can't see it? That clip you posted is the exact same one I tried to link to. Damn, you must be psychic~!
16 Aug 2018
@ 03:23 am (GMT)

Caleb Mayfield

Re: Have a laugh!
Luck, Paul. On the Home page for the site there is that section that shows the two most recent posts. Because of the way this site functions, the posts in that box show up in kind of an unprocessed format so all the links and tags and formatting shows up. In the forum threads it shows up as processed html code so you don't see all the tags and such. I caught your post when the link was visible on the home page and copied it when I didn't see it on this page.

https links are a secure link. If you are logged into YouTube/Google and copy a link it generally gives you a secured link. This site doesn't like to process those links as a link. If you remove the s from the https it generally works at that point. I'll try to demonstrate with Warwick's link. Watch it prove me wrong, but if it does what I expect, the "click here" after the https link either won't show at all, or will show but not function as a link.

https link: Click here

http link: Click here
16 Aug 2018
@ 03:31 am (GMT)

Caleb Mayfield

Re: Have a laugh!
There you go. Proved me wrong this time. At least it's in writing so we can document the first time it has happened.

There's my joke for you.
16 Aug 2018
@ 10:52 pm (GMT)

Paul Leverman

Re: Have a laugh!
Thanks, Caleb. Always good to have info to make life easier.

Old adage #689: "Anything demonstrated for the repairman will operate flawlessly."
17 Aug 2018
@ 06:47 pm (GMT)

Andrew Murray

Re: Have a laugh!
Here a laugh. From.an article/opinion on gun control. Disappointing use of the image.

20 Aug 2018
@ 04:19 pm (GMT)

Andrew Murray

Re: Have a laugh!
A video I made a while ago.

https://youtu.be/51R1tXKWwJ0
22 Aug 2018
@ 05:52 pm (GMT)

Warwick Marflitt

Re: Have a laugh!
Hey how are you doing today?
Check this out?

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too.
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 56% plepoe can.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
23 Aug 2018
@ 01:52 am (GMT)

Paul Leverman

Re: Have a laugh!
Good one, Warwick. I now know where I fit in society. On a side note that you may be able to relate to, back in the day working in the shop, the work orders had that space at the bottom for us to write down all the defects we found on the vehicle inspection. As is usual with government forms, the space was seriously undersized for the average car on the road. We adapted, and ended up using no vowels in any of the descriptions, eg, rhs frt v/cvr lk. After only about a month, the clerk also became proficient in reading this "code". The mind is amazingly adaptable.
23 Aug 2018
@ 08:11 am (GMT)

Warwick Marflitt

Re: Have a laugh!
Yes Paul. It's amazing what the biological computer (Human) can be programmed to achieve. I have my own code for diagnosing electrical faults in heavy machinery. I check the easiest things first and progress to the hardest last. Using what I know to find out what I don't know. Like a mathematician solves a calculus equation. "The human mind once stretched for a solution, seldom shrinks to its former size" Oliver Wendell Holmes  Or. "You don't have to be sick to get better" Gestalt
"Lose your mind and come to your senses," Fritz
 As the Buddha said, we are already enlightened. Attempts to become enlightened are looked upon the same way that a man in a lake looking for water is looked upon.
 As Nathe Buddha said, "we are already enlightened. Attempts to become Tacticool are looked upon the same way that a man in a gunzine looking for chopshop accuracy is looked upon."
30 Aug 2018
@ 11:58 am (GMT)

Warwick Marflitt

Re: Have a laugh!
Terry Pratchett/Quotes
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.
In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.
It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living.
Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.

THANKS STEPH......
16 Sep 2018
@ 10:35 am (GMT)

Warwick Marflitt

Re: Have a laugh!
Funny as magic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0E9QYW1w8rg
16 Sep 2018
@ 09:27 pm (GMT)

Olly Agbebi

Re: Have a laugh!
My wife used to give me rocks regardless of the pursuit.
It didn't matter if it was stalking, football, diving, rugby, fishing or what ever, she was in my face about it. I told her she should take more of an interest in her personal fitness.

Thankfully we came to a compromise.
I promised I’d spend more time at home if she’d walk 7 miles every day.

By the end of the first week she was 49 miles away and I had the place to myself
Result!
 

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