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> Have a laugh!
Have a laugh!
@ 01:05 am (GMT) |
AndyHere's a joke, maybe you could post another one below!A guy walks into a pub and asks the publican for a beer. While he sits there he notices a jar full of . Next to the jar full of $50 notes is a sign that reads, "$50 entry fee: Complete the Challenge, Win the Jar." Curious, the guy asks the bartender about the challenge. The bartender explains there are three parts that must be completed. First: Down a gallon of tequila straight in under five minutes. Second: A Crocodile out back has a terrible tooth and ache and the tooth has to be pulled. Third: Have sex with the oldest hooker in the place. The guy thinks it over and he accepts the challenge. He downs the tequila in no time. Then he staggers out back and everyone in the bar hears an awful commotion for a solid 10 minutes. Then silence. The guy stumbles back in the door his clothes torn to sheds, bite marks up and down his body... He yells, "Now! Where's that hooker with the tooth ache?" |
Replies
@ 04:09 am (GMT) |
Paul LevermanRe: Have a laugh!GUN CONTROL - Hold that forend! |
@ 05:42 am (GMT) |
Warwick MarflittRe: Have a laugh!Quote: GUN CONTROL - Hold that forend!
So your saying that only "DISCIPLINED" people who hold and use the forend when they shoot get to keep their 2nd amendment privilege. Sounds pretty Armless to me Paul. Look up the meaning of the word disciplined.... disciplined ˈdɪsəplɪnd/ adjective showing a controlled form of behaviour or way of working. "a disciplined approach to management" discipline ˈdɪsɪplɪn/ verb past tense: disciplined; past participle: disciplined train (someone) to obey rules or a code of behaviour, using punishment to correct disobedience. "many parents have been afraid to discipline their children" synonyms:train, drill, teach,school, coach,educate,regiment,indoctrinate;More lay down the law to someone,bring into line "these families have different ways of disciplining their children" punish or rebuke formally for an offence. "a member of staff was to be disciplined by management" |
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@ 06:12 am (GMT) |
Warwick MarflittRe: Have a laugh!The funny thing is that. A lack of self and social Discipline then denies the privilege of the 2ndIf you're undisciplined, you're not responsible enough to be trusted with arms? Funnier still. Let's socially engineer an Irresponsible Society? Is refusal to hold and use the forend an act of defiance If told that the only way of keeping a privilege was to Submit an conform. ......? Would you? Who's Laughing now ...... who's more disciplined the people or the governance! Self discipline is the ability you have to control and motivate yourself, stay on track and do what is right. An example of self discipline is when you make sure you get up an hour early before work each day to practice your discipline. |
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@ 08:36 am (GMT) |
Warwick MarflittRe: Have a laugh!My mate Stu Catches rabbits with out any meat damage! Here's how. (Not quite as slick as the Government Chicken method? That sounded pretty Grouse eh! Bro....!)Get a flat rock and place next to Wabbit Rhole get some white pepper and sprinkle over said rock! Hide behind a bush near Wabbits Rhole...... He....he.....Im ginna git me sum wabbit faa tee! Now Make some convincing Carrot noises...........!!!!!............!!!!!! Keep on at it as It will take a bit for "Ole Silk Ears" ta show some interest! When he/she does hear your fine Carrot imitations....... Be ready and alert for Wabbits are quick and before you know it the Carrot thief will appear and sniff around it's Rhole looking for the sound......AND!!!! in its excitement and snuffling it'll suck up all the pepper and SNEEZE! so hard as to knock itself out on the rock!!!!!! Calmly walk out Paw Bear like and pick up your undamaged, internally seasoned Wabbit..........Haw...haw...haw pesky wabbit immmm gunna tastey fry thum legs makin crispy critta fritta....... And that's how me old mate Stu gets a Wabbit for dinner.....I shyt ewe not....... |
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@ 02:11 pm (GMT) |
Paul LevermanRe: Have a laugh!Warrick you are one strange duck. And we wouldn't want it any other way, mate. |
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@ 02:11 pm (GMT) |
Paul LevermanRe: Have a laugh!Sorry, Warwick. |
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@ 03:28 pm (GMT) |
Warwick MarflittRe: Have a laugh!Cheers Paul. I like telling that story to 8 year old kids. The look that they give you when you get to the make carrot noises. Is priceless and if they challenge you about it! Oh the joy of explaining how rabbits have big long ears and how it's because carrots are long and carrot noises can only be herd with long ears. So evolution gave carrots long roots and Rabbits the ability to hear carrots is a masterful trick that every self respecting uncle is obliged to play on the nieces and nephews with a straight face and an all knowing voice. One of my nephews had white pepper on a plate and was sniffing it too see if it would make him sneeze. Grandmother was not impressed!!!!I've been off Work for 9 weeks with a bulged disc in my back. Hence why I've been posting on here a bit. I'm heaps better and just had to wait for the injured bits to heal. Keep smiling everyone and remember to have a laugh😆 |
@ 03:34 pm (GMT) |
Bob MavinRe: Have a laugh!I tell my young'ns that they are invisible when they shut their eyes. Causes a few issues with Mum's :)) |
@ 01:32 pm (GMT) |
John D. Hays - New MexicoRe: Have a laugh!At a country store last Sunday I found this on the community bulletin board: 
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@ 10:20 pm (GMT) |
Warwick MarflittRe: Have a laugh!Classic 😆 |
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@ 08:43 am (GMT) |
Paul LevermanRe: Have a laugh!My niece once showed me the belly-button lint that had collected from wearing her long johns. I told her that it was actually a dust bunny, and that if she dried out her belly-button after her bath, that they wouldn't have enough to drink. Not sure if her mother ever forgave me. |
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@ 03:10 pm (GMT) |
Warwick MarflittRe: Have a laugh!It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn't. |
@ 09:10 pm (GMT) |
Jon ShortRe: Have a laugh!"internally seasoned Wabbit"On form Warwick! ha ha ha good onya man! |
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@ 04:44 pm (GMT) |
JOHN HAYSRe: Have a laugh!A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch,but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad inthe newspaper for a ranch hand.. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night. One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her.. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. "Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. "Now take off my bra.." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired." |
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@ 05:21 am (GMT) |
Paul LevermanRe: Have a laugh!Your Pants Must Be This High To Buy A Gun
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@ 05:23 am (GMT) |
Paul LevermanRe: Have a laugh!
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@ 02:32 pm (GMT) |
Paul LevermanRe: Have a laugh!Yeah....the links never showed up. Me and technology. |
@ 08:21 pm (GMT) |
Andrew MurrayRe: Have a laugh!Maybe that's the laugh Paul? |
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@ 08:26 pm (GMT) |
Andrew MurrayRe: Have a laugh!
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@ 07:07 pm (GMT) |
Warwick MarflittRe: Have a laugh!https://youtu.be/f7NwyBnIRTE |
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@ 03:16 pm (GMT) |
Warwick MarflittRe: Have a laugh!Equations! - This is the bestI have read in a LONG time !!!! Equation1 Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy Donkey = eat + sleep + work Therefore: Human = Donkey + enjoy Therefore: Human-enjoy = Donkey In other words, A Human that doesn't know how to enjoy = Donkey that works. Equation 2 Man = eat + sleep + earn money Donkey = eat + sleep Therefore: Man = Donkey + earn money Therefore: Man-earn money = Donkey In other words Man who doesn't earn money = Donkey Woman= eat + sleep + spend Donkey = eat + sleep Therefore: Woman = Donkey + spend Woman - spend = Donkey In other words, Woman who doesn't spend = Donkey To Conclude: From Equation 2 and Equation 3 Man who doesn't earn money = Woman who doesn't spend So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey! And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey! So, We have: Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money Therefore. from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together, earning and spending! |
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@ 05:45 pm (GMT) |
JOHN HAYSRe: Have a laugh! |
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@ 05:48 pm (GMT) |
JOHN HAYSRe: Have a laugh!Self portrait. |
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@ 06:56 am (GMT) |
Paul LevermanRe: Have a laugh!So true. We have no money, but we sure have a lot of fun. |
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@ 03:38 pm (GMT) |
JOHN HAYSRe: Have a laugh!
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