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Nathan is ill

24 Sep 2018
@ 01:42 pm (GMT)

Steph Foster

Nathan is really ill at the moment. He has been really struggling for some months now, chronically fatigued and really laboring to get through a day. It has culminated in a severe virus coupled with an abscess in his jaw. He is tired, in pain and has hit the wall physically, mentally and emotionally. I myself have now taken on more of the computer work to ease his work load while nursing him along as best I can.

I have decided that it is a time for a change.

I have to tell you guys right now that I am really angry - at Nathan and myself mostly.

The website that so many people cruise on so casually has been built through years of sacrifice, of our time, our money and our life experiences. In 15 years Nathan and I have had one weekend away together - that was to New Plymouth our home city and one trip to Las Vegas which was a business trip sponsored by (and mostly paid for by) Manson Reamers. We don't get out much.

We have made our own decisions and choices and we own them. The motivation behind everything that we have done has been to create something of real value for people all over the world. We thought if we went forward with a willingness to be open with our findings, to give honest unbiased information, to save people the same time and expense that we have expended in our research - that ultimately it would all be worthwhile.

To this end we have never bombarded you with pop ups and spammy, shitty adverts, we have never let you be trolled or accosted when you are on our website. The products that we have created to give us an income are the VERY, VERY best that Nathan has to give! His years of frustration and learning through trial and error, his real knowledge and experience encapsulated in easy to read step by step guides that if given the chance will save a hunter thousands of $$$ and still ensure they are one of the best shooters in their area. All the way through the creation of Terminal Ballistics research Nathan has wanted to help people by helping them to help themselves.

Long story short; Nathan is one of the most kind and considerate people I have ever known. It is not in his nature to ever take advantage of others nor short change them. To this end, I have to tell you that I am done.

I am done watching Nathan have his life sucked away by life vampires. I am done watching him rewrite his books on a weekly basis because people are too cheap and stupid to value his work. I am tired of people coming to him fishing for free info - "I have just spent $500 on a suppressor for my 6.5 shitmoore and now it doesn't shoot - help me!" You know what? Go fuck yourself. How much more free information do people need from us? Apparently the largest body of cartridge research on the internet is not enough.

We had a very curt email form a person who visits our forums. Apparently it is offensive for Nath to remove things from our website - it is censorship and the curtailing of peoples freedom. Well here is my opinion on this subject. This is NATHAN and MY website. This is NATHAN and MY space! Yes, you may enter and look around, you may use whatever information you like. But do not for one minute presume to have any right to post random crap which undermines everything that we believe in on our space. Do you think that if you go into a "Public" museum that you have the right to rearrange the exhibits? Do you think that a "Public" art gallery should exhibit your stick figure drawings because you have declared it art? If you do not like or respect what we do - go away. Our website and forums are not your personal facebook page for you to go sticking what ever shitty links to what ever dark hole of the internet you may find yourself in.

There is a reason a person who enters a website is called a VISITOR - think about it!

In this world of PC bullshit gone crazy, Nathan has felt that it is important that men be empowered. To be allowed to embrace the ability to literally put food on the family table and to be proud of their natural instincts as hunters and protectors. Unfortunately while trying so hard to empower others he has given away too much of his own power - worried endlessly about whether he is being too hard or too unsupportive. Lets just say he has worried a lot more about the majority of peoples feelings than they have worried about his!

Things have to change for us. We have tried our best to be helpful and supportive to all who have come our way and we have learnt the invaluable lesson that the majority of people will take more than they will give. The reward for digging the best hole is a bigger shovel.

To the people who have become our friends - thank you so much for your kindness and support. I am going to impart a most valuable lesson to you all - this is the hardest won lesson Nathan and I have ever come to. Being kind and giving to other people is a wonderful and noble endeavor but ultimately fruitless. Trying to make other people happy is a black pit that can never be filled.

It is time for Nathan and I to be kind to ourselves. We need to make some changes in our life.


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16 Nov 2018
@ 08:27 am (GMT)

Nathan Foster

Re: Nathan is ill
Hey guys, tried getting back into work, just a few hours here and there, workshop for an hour or so, answered some posts etc. But its still a bit too much just yet. Flu symptoms again, chronic fatigue. I am simply going to have to put a knot in my own tail for another month or two (yes Warwick I know). I was a long way down, will take a long time to come back.

I am still getting out, but fairly redundant. Steph or Kelvin sent off to make kills, retrieve data. Me laid up in the shade somewhere, totalled by noon. What the hell, may as well be laid up on soft grass staring up at two tui's courting in a tree than staring at walls.

Anyway, nothing to worry about, just forwarding an apology. A bit more time needed. Otherwise, very happy. I wake up keen each day, still loving it.
16 Nov 2018
@ 03:33 pm (GMT)

Warwick Marflitt

Re: Nathan is ill
Yeah Mate. And your too kind to say No!


As I said...... You have poured your Heart and Souls Life knowledge into the 5 books you've written, With your amazingly supportive and loving wife's incredible unselfish help and care. It's all there in ink on paper. You've given us all enough Nathan. If anyone wants to know how to build, fix or learn how to shoot all they have to do is Buy your books. Read, THINK and apply your steps to get a Bullshit free A+++ result. Just like how medicine doesn't work when left in the bottle! Your knowledge doesn't work unless read and acted on.
Anyone who's too lazy to. Buy, Read, Strive, Do and then Succeed! Doesn't deserve your Email and Phone line time and support? As I said on the Dog n Bone (PHONE) You are the inaccurate rifle on the bench to be repaired! Please give yourself permission to stop rest and heal yourself. Everyone here will gladly wait for the Kiwi Phoenix to reappear from the burnt out ashes whole and complete. Flying and shooting from branch to branch of his majestic Kowhai tree

Now go and get busy about doing nothing............ You're aloud to play on the lathe in your workshop....... But only when that rare and beautiful Kokako bird Steph says its ok....... and after you and Riley have spent 10 minutes laughing and goofing off together........

Thought I'd share this as I remember reading it years ago at a low point in my life and it's quite powerful and healing to be reminded.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of the earth. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of the iridescence that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Adapted by me for The Fosters
Stolen From Our Deepest Fear
by Marianne Williamson


TUI song.



Be who you are
and say what you feel
Because those who
mind don't matter
and those who matter
don't mind

Have a Funtasticly fabulous time getting well Aroha Nui
16 Nov 2018
@ 05:21 pm (GMT)

Warwick Marflitt

Re: Nathan is ill

TUI bird



17 Nov 2018
@ 03:25 am (GMT)

Stephane Matis

Re: Nathan is ill
I am very much new around here, and only saw this post now. When I read the note by Steph, the first thing that popped into my head is Lyme disease, which sadly is moving further and further north in North America via deer borne ticks and can cause some epic problems. I have met folks who contracted it, often hiking or hunting, and it puts me ill at ease even thinking about the struggle, as the physical disability hurts one's mind equally.

In short, get well Nathan!

Your books are a very good source of knowledge and I think I can safely say you have rounded out some of my understanding.
31 Dec 2018
@ 03:45 pm (GMT)

Steve Garbe

Re: Nathan is ill
Mrs. Foster,
I'm new to your website but was immediately impressed with the volume of good information. Unlike many websites which are simply a bullshitfest, yours contains valuable information gathered through real experience. My compliments to both of you on a job very well done.

I don't wish to be too forward but would like to offer a bit of advice. My wife and I have been in the magazine business for a number of years and we are only too familiar with what you and Nathan are going through. Information has a value, whether it is presented via the printed word or digitally. Believe me, there is no shortage of people who would like all your information at no cost to them. And there is much truth in that old saying-"No good deed goes unpunished."

I would suggest that you charge a subscription fee for your website. I'm not sure how that is done in New Zealand, but what you are offering is the same as a monthly magazine, in regards to information and service. Anyone who is serious about their shooting would have no qualms in subscribing, and this helps pays you and Nathan for your time.

Again, as we have not met, please don't take this as someone putting their nose in where it doesn't belong. My wife and I have been in your shoes and I would hate to see this valuable website go away. I will be in New Zealand shortly and intend to purchase your books and bedding compound as soon as I'm in-country.

Thanks again for your efforts,

Steve Garbe
31 Dec 2018
@ 08:43 pm (GMT)

Shawn Bevins

Re: Nathan is ill
Steph and Nathan,

Your family and your health comes first. Make the changes you need.

I do realize we come in an ask questions with little regard to the time it takes to answer a post. For that I do apologize and i want you to know how much I appreciate it. I have learned a lot here thanks to you all.

All the best to you in the New Year. [b]
02 Jan 2019
@ 09:39 am (GMT)

Nathan Foster

Re: Nathan is ill
Hi Steve and Shawn. I am coming right, its just a slow process. We had hay down on new years eve and as much as I wanted to help, I could only get though a couple of small paddocks. Steph continued on helping the neighbors. She is bench pressing over 80kg / 180lb at the moment and dead lifting over 120kg / 260lb, loves the heavy lifting. For me, the hay situation was embarrassing, struggling to pull my weight. But I could feel my strength coming back. The bales were still a bit green, up around 40kg and provided I paced myself, I could get them up to head height for the high throws. But I fatigued quickly. Still, that is a good start. A few more months and I should be back to full swing.

Regarding the subscriptions, this would take a full redesign. A sub to the main info pages does not work, have been through the math / stats for this in past years. In very crude terms, its the same as saying why pay for porn when its so freely prevalent on the net. This is why folk use adwords to boost revenue (I can't stand adwords), subs just don't work that well. A sub to the forums would be nice with the KB remaining free for general education. We would still have to redesign this, using third party software to mount a new private forum. It would be to the benefit of readers as it would allow me to share more of my closely guarded info (book series) freely. But again, it is a lot of work.

I think we will be OK as long as we are simply mindful of energy. I care a great deal about each person so I put a lot of time into trying to put myself in their shoes - their budget, local game, wants, needs, ambitions etc. This worked OK for some years but these days some folk are very taxing. Let's say a guy phones, he sounds pretty mixed up and I know just how he feels, duped by some junk rifle with a straw thin fluted barrel that boots like a mule. I suggest X rifle and Y steps to get the best out of it, I give him some time on the phone but the questions keep coming and before I know it, an hour has passed and I still have other work to do. Then a couple of days later, he phones back, did not take my advice and instead went with some deal he couldn't refuse and now wants help for this next piece of shit. Its just too much, so we have been putting an end to it.

Recently we started a consult tab (skype consults). When people pay, they tend to listen. I have also slowly been using the emails as content for a new book (Ask the expert) so that I am still able to answer some mail from folk, but may possibly have something to show for it later. We have other projects on the go but these have had to wait as I have been unable to shoot for a while. But by February, I expect to be able to handle heavy days shooting again. For me, its about finding the right balance so that I can do what I love doing (shooting and helping to empower people) while maintaining my own energy.

Quite a while back, Steph went to see Buck Brannaman. He knows horses like I know rifles. When she returned, she told me that Buck seemed to be struggling with the people aspect of the clinic. I remember her saying at the time, "Buck was great but why put on a clinic if you don't want to deal with the people". More recently, after helping yet another guy who went off and chased a deal he couldn't refuse, Steph said to me- "I finally get Buck now".

I am going to keep doing what I do. The current trends are driving men towards dis-empowerment- you need a lighter rifle, less recoil, less noise, less everything. On the one hand, the marketing pitches look good- rifles producing low noise, recoil etc. But I believe that the net result of this marketing effects our subconscious minds in a different way. So instead, the message we are receiving is - you can't handle the weight, the noise or the recoil. We are so dumbed down now, we are not even holding the rifles, just sitting them on rests. Rather than rising to any challenge, the industry has been gearing down. I want to keep reminding folk that they can achieve more than this. Hold the darned thing like hammer, shoot it like you are driving home nails, embrace it, revel in it.
02 Jan 2019
@ 11:07 am (GMT)

Bob Mavin

Re: Nathan is ill
Well said Nathan.
I've been there, IF YOU CARE, dealing with the general public will test your patients. Maybe that's why Pollies are the way they are?

I look through your FREE site most mornings the way some people religiously
read the news paper.

I'm happy to make donations, In my opinion your site is better than buying magazines !!!
01 Feb 2019
@ 08:44 am (GMT)

Nathan Foster

Re: Nathan is ill
Hi guys, just a quick note to say that we are back into work. Unfortunately we did not make it to SHOT, I was not well enough to travel. For the next however long I will be focused on field research projects which I can manage while building strength over the coming year.

All the best.
01 Feb 2019
@ 09:01 am (GMT)

Joshua Mayfield

Re: Nathan is ill
I know many of us are excited to hear that you are back in the field, Nathan. I'm sorry you're unable to attend SHOT, but there's not really much to see in Vegas anyway, right? HA! May this year be as much a year of healing and progress as last year was of frustration. Be blessed and stay safe.
01 Feb 2019
@ 04:15 pm (GMT)

Paul Leverman

Re: Nathan is ill
Missing SHOT must have been a tough call, but better that you return to a healthy level of energy, in mind and body. All the best, friend, and hugs to the girls.
01 Feb 2019
@ 08:44 pm (GMT)

Warwick Marflitt

Re: Nathan is ill
Good call Nathan. Your health is your wealth....
09 Mar 2019
@ 10:58 am (GMT)

Mike Kanak

Re: Nathan is ill
Glad to hear you are feeling better. You've developed quite a following here in Canada.
09 Mar 2019
@ 01:34 pm (GMT)

Andrew Foster

Re: Nathan is ill
Hey Nathan good to hear you’re feeling better, wish you all the best. Just wanted to acknowledge that your advice, your books, your bedding compound and a day out shooting with you have all been without doubt the things that have contributed most to my shooting and confidence to take on shooting challenges I never would have dreamed of being capable of. No piece of fancy xyz product has ever made a difference in the way that just taking on your advice does.
And I ‘m not just saying that, it’s totally true.
Even given the amount of information we have at our fingertips these days, you are the one source of information that so many of us count on to be factual, without bias, and just good quality.
Any way you feel you need to change your business model to best support you and your family, there are an awful lot of us that will back you. I just hope you keep doing what you’re doing cause it’s awesome.
10 Mar 2019
@ 09:50 am (GMT)

Nathan Foster

Re: Nathan is ill
Thanks Mike and thanks Andrew, very kind words indeed.

We are slowly making inroads into this year's projects. I do a bit, then rest a bit. One of the projects I want to finish is a restricted book for police, military and medical. This book comes on the back of a previous contract with foreign parties and is still being influenced by ballistics questions put forwards by various police groups etc. I am hoping to have this finished soon as it has been quite time consuming gathering field results. The initial contract started in 2017 so its been on the go for a while now, needs to be finished so that we can complete other projects.

Ask the expert (based on emails) is now up to page 75. I think I will release this as a budget book once we get to about 200 pages or so. Will see. The last two books (shooting and cartridges 2) were mammoths. Throughout all of this, we have been taking field footage for the shooting tutorial videos. And finally I need to carry on with updates for the KB (.44's up etc) and also go back through and update the entire KB. I find the weight of all of this to be quite overwhelming at times. One step at a time.

Thanks again guys, it is heart warming to read your kind words.
19 Mar 2019
@ 01:32 am (GMT)


Re: Nathan is ill
Hi Nathan.
It's been awhile since I have checked in here, I haven't been doing much shooting for a while, anyway... Sorry to see you weren't doing so well.
Because my lack of shooting, I still do it but not as regular, I have mostly looked at general topics or off topics. I understand Steph's and your frustrations, simple topics getting beat to death when a thread search would probably solve ones gun related issues. But these days everyone wants an instant result, there need is of most importants, not stopping to think of others that have set out all this info and more in a ready to go package which is also there livelyhood. Not knowing how good they have it.
It's like what has been mentioned before, .... Give an inch take a mile. Often people are too self absorbed to realize what they are getting, and how good it is. As to not take advantage of that good thing.
Do you remember the dukes of Hazzard, "them good old boys" they would often mention. I figure that's you, and no doubt your family. I take that as meaning...From the old school, kind to a fault kind of thing, too kind. Genuine. Take that time to look out for number 1, and in your case 2 and 3.
Anyway... The general posts I have seen you made recently have been quite inspirational. It's a side of you I rarely seen before the off topic section started.
more wisdom and wise words other than just rifle talk. Great post in the Christchurch thread and the post about family/daughter talk. (Nice photo, Riley is growing up fast)

Sorry if that's hard to read, in summary... Thanks for all your hard work and personal help I received from you. I'm glad your on the mend again, also thanks to your family for allowing me to share your time with them.
Thank you, take care.
19 Mar 2019
@ 08:04 am (GMT)

Nathan Foster

Re: Nathan is ill
Hi Jason, thank you for your very kind words. My thoughts are that if you are going to be in a position to influence people, it better bloody well be positive. I believe that my situation is one of great responsibility, not to be wasted frivolously with daily blog posts etc. I have always seen my readers as my family and I think about each of you at home around the world, reading the books and hoping that the they are empowering you in meaningful ways. It brings me great joy to read your mail, a guy reading the books while traveling on the train to work in NY city, bursting at the seams to go hiking, another reader wins a championship shoot.

But now I need to take better care of me. In doing so, this will take me back to the roots of what we started so its actually more beneficial to readers that I do this. I still have a way to go yet which is a bit frustrating. I have had ongoing blood tests, all looks very good, I simply have to take this slowly.

Thanks again Jason, this was very kind of you.

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We are a small, family run business, based out of Taranaki, New Zealand, who specialize in cartridge research and testing, and rifle accurizing.